Passion's Wounds
by Kakyou Takashiro
Summary: A sweet little fic with lots of angst... Rei x Shinji... Irony of life: the eternity of love is forever the scar of time and passion... Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: you've seen these before… I don't own this… I wish I did… blah blah… I'll save you the time and pity… go screw yourself Gainax! Okay now that's out of my system I'm ready for the lawsuit portion, don't sue my please!!! (I'm penniless!!!)  
  
Author's Note "-+†‡†+-·o(¤Kãkêð¤)o·-+†‡†+-" : "Ayanami, Rei, the most famous girl anime character of 1997!" Enjoy all you fans out there, this one is for Rei! (Yes, I have life)  
  
Passion's Wounds Chapter 1  
  
"Why did you keep this from me?" Shinji said coarsely.  
  
"I… I…" Rei didn't know how to reply, she tried to look in to Shinji's eyes, but couldn't summon the strength. She wanted to say because I could actually tell you that I love you without you denying me, but she just couldn't. She had never seen Shinji so angry before. Shinji was not one to be angry to the degree that he would raise his voice or throw things around; his anger emits like his father, through his eyes. A tear dripped from the corner of her eye.   
  
"Why did you keep this from me, Rei?" Shinji said again.  
  
Rei didn't reply. She couldn't look straight at Shinji; in fact, with those tears now dripping, she couldn't look at anything without a blurred vision.  
  
"Go away…" Shinji said with pain in his throat, never loud or rude though.  
  
Rei looked up with her face a horrible mess.  
  
"Shinji…" she pleaded.  
  
"Go away, I don't want…………… I don't to see you again, Rei."  
  
Rei nodded. She obeyed. She didn't want to leave Shinji, but she respected his words. Shinji closed the door, and Rei stood there for a second. Then she collapsed to the floor.   
  
"Miss Ayanami?" A voice called.  
  
Her eyes were closed, a small tear withered at the corner of her eye.  
  
"Miss Ayanami?" A voice called again.  
  
Shinji… she thought… She opened her eyes.  
  
"Miss Ayanami!" She recognized the figure that stood before her, in front of her long desk. She recognized where she was; it was her office… the dark surroundings, and lowered lights, and the paintings against the walls.   
  
"Miss Ayanami, you must hurry, you'll be late for your meeting…" A young man stood in front of Rei's desk.  
  
"Cancel the meeting…" she said softly, as she was handed a glass of water. She then pulled out from her side door a small container of medicine.  
  
"Is it him?" The young man said again.  
  
Rei glared at him, but then softened and took her medicine. She sighed after taking the medicine. She felt horrible. Shinji was so upset. I acted like a total fool… she thought. I should've been better to him; now, all I have to do is regret. That she did, for three years, to this day it would still haunt her.   
  
"I'm going back… tomorrow…"  
  
"I wish you luck, Miss Ayanami…"  
  
Rei stared at him with her crimson eyes. She didn't say anything, because the prospect of seeing Shinji again was too nerve-racking. She stood up, straightened out her black suit and her lovely blue hair and walked out of the room, leaving the young man behind. She was going to see Shinji this time… time heals all wounds right? She thought, I've spent enough time here in London for NERV, it's time to go back to Shinji. She then stopped dead out of the door to her office. She closed her eyes and promised herself… no matter the cost, she would win Shinji's heart… no matter the cost… even if it meant killing herself.   
  
  
The cold rain was behind her. Rei was nervous, but beyond that, she was uncomfortable… she felt uneasy… there were constant stabs of pain, reminders of what happened that day. She stood there at the scene of the crime. She grasped her present tightly between her arms; the present hugged again her thin brown jacket. It was raining in Tokyo-3. It was winter and the rain had been colder than usual. Her nimble fingers were shaking from the bitter weather, her cheeks rosy. She looked at the door… 'Ikari'… Shinji's new apartment, he had moved out of Misato's place a year ago. Rei could here voices of laughter behind the door. Today was Shinji's birthday; no doubt there was some sort of party arranged by Misato. Her hands trembled as they reached for the doorbell. Rei took a deep sigh and pushed the bell. The sound of the bell tolled in her heart. She prayed that Shinji would not be the one to open the door.  
  
"I'll get it!" There was distant voice from behind the door.  
  
The door slid open. Rei smiled just slightly, but still pain lingered in her heart.  
  
There was a moment of silence. It was Shinji... Rei had not seen him for three years; it had been so long, she had almost forgotten his cheery face. He seemed so happy before he looked at her. He seemed changed too, a little more built. She tried to smile a bit more, she knew Shinji liked it better when she smiled. They just stared at each other for a minute. Shinji's face was a mixture of both shock and pain, but at the same time, it was not as pained as three years ago. With that, Rei thought that Shinji maybe had forgiven her. She hoped he had; she had not forgiven herself for lying to him, especially since her loved him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he finally said softly.  
  
Rei forced another smile to her heart's pain, but she couldn't contain a single tear from her eyes. Shinji didn't catch it because she was wet from the rain.   
  
"I came back," she said softly. Her voice cracked from the dryness.  
  
There was silence. Her hands tightened around her present…  
  
"Happy Birthday…" she said even more softly.  
  
"Thank you…" Shinji's voice was monotone. Why had his faced not changed? I can't stand him looking at me like that. Too many memories, she thought.   
  
"Here…" Rei offered her present. Her heart was in serious pain now… her chest felt heavy, but she forced a smile.  
  
"Shinji! Who is it?" A voice from the back called; it was Touji-san.  
  
"…"  
  
"Why did you come back?" Shinji looked at her, his vision blurring slightly… As if he too felt the same pain. Rei saw this in his face… another sharp pain stabbed her.  
  
It hurts, it really hurts… Rei thought as her smiled disappeared. She looked down still holding out her present.  
  
"I missed you…" Her voice was hard, the tears began to stream down her face. "Shinji…"   
  
"Shinji! Who is it?" Touji rang from the back again.  
  
"No one, just the mailman!" Rei looked up in shock… the tears still there.  
  
Shinji looked at her.  
  
"Sorry, please go…" He took the present and closed the door. She heard footsteps walking away. She stared blankly at the door. Her chest was tightening now and she placed both her hands there now. The medicine was kicking in… she could feel it… it was weakening her heart. She couldn't control her tears anymore or the pain in her chest. She felt like as if she was going to explode. The pain was unbearable, and the more she thought about it, the sharper the stabs came. Control yourself, Rei… she thought, as her breathing began to increase heavily. The tears blurred her vision. Rei closed her eyes and saw Shinji, with that smile she had missed so dearly. That cheery smile, innocent but true. Finally Rei collapsed. She fainted. The rain poured behind her.  
  
  
"Shinji I think it's time to open your presents!" Asuka said happily, a bright smile on her face.   
  
"Yeah!" everyone agreed. Shinji smiled happily, rubbing off the last of the after effects of his recent reunion with Ayanami.  
  
"Sure… Thank you everyone!" Shinji smiled with his cheery face brilliantly shown.  
  
"Shinji, Baka- say that after you open them." Hikari said, smiling.  
  
"Yeah, hurry up!" Kensuke said.  
  
"Com'on." Touji said smiling to Kensuke as they had something planned.   
  
Misato smiled happily at him. So did Asuka. He smiled back, and began to open the first.   
  
'From Hikari and Asuka'. It was rather large in size.   
  
… It was a cleaning kit for his cello. "Thank you."  
  
'From Misato'.   
  
… It was new SDAT player. "Thank you, Misato! This means a lot." Shinji's face lit up. Misato smiled sweetly back. "You always listen to it, Shin-chan! It was the least I could do."  
  
'From Touji and Kensuke'  
  
… A book… 'How to cook your way into a girl's heart' Shinji laughed. "You guys are horrible!" Everyone saw and laughed with him. "Thank you!"   
  
That was it…   
  
"Alright, let's continue the party." Asuka said cheerfully, "I call the microphone!"   
  
"Wait…" Hikari said… There is still one more… Hikari looked behind her outside of the living room and toward the door. Damn… Shinji thought, that was Rei's present, he had put it there after he left her.   
  
"Did the mailman bring this?" Hikari asked curiously. "Oh my god! It's from Rei!" Hikari picked it up and everybody ran to her, except for Shinji.   
  
"Here!" Hikari said, "From Rei-chan! How is she anyways? You must have not caught the name…" Hikari handed Shinji the present as everyone gathered around.  
  
"I don't know," Shinji said solemnly. He looked down at the present; his hands trembled as they touched the slightly wet wrapping paper.  
  
"I can't believe she actually remembered your birthday!" Asuka said smiling. "Hurry up and open it! Everyone's curious!"  
  
"Okay," Shinji forced a smile.  
  
He unwrapped the present. There was note inside. He opened the envelope and read the soft paper card.  
  
'The sweetest wishes for the coming year' – 'Rei'  
  
He now felt a jab of pain for leaving her out there.   
  
"That's so cute!" Misato said. "Guess she still has a thing for you," she teased some more.  
  
Shinji flipped the present; there it was, a green album with the embossed gold letters, 'Yui'. Everyone was shocked as Shinji opened the first page. There, neatly arranged, was picture after picture of his mother!   
  
"Where did she get those!" Asuka said.  
  
"That so sweet!" Hikari said.  
  
Shinji choked… where did she get these? His mother's pictures would have been all erased. Shinji couldn't control the tears from his eyes, out of happiness and out of shock.  
  
He flipped to the last page. There was something written on the back cover.   
  
'Three years of sorrow, I beg for your forgiveness now. I don't deserve it, but if you have it in your heart to lend me a second chance… I'd be eternally yours. I still care, Shinji… I will always care… I am no longer an angel…So I beg that you do not fear… Happy Birthday.' – 'Rei'   
  
Shinji was in shock. Everyone else was the same. No one knew what to say.   
  
Hours later, the party ended and Hikari, along with Touji, were the first to leave. It was late at night now.  
  
"Shinji! That was a wonderful party! You truly are a great cook!" Hikari said.  
  
"Yeah" Touji back her up, "be sure to use our book!" He said it with a smirk on his face. Everyone laughed. They had temporarily forgotten Rei's present. Hikari opened the door.   
  
"Oh my god!"   
  
Everyone rushed over.  
  
"What?" Kensuke was the first to ask.  
  
Rei lay there on the cold floor, under the rain, still unconscious… Shinji looked at Rei on the floor with regret. Touji bent over and picked up Rei… "She's so cold… I can't feel anything in her hands…" Touji looked with disgust at Shinji as he carried her in. He understood now. Shinji could do nothing more than look at Rei with pain, regret, and sorrow in his eyes. 


	2. Chapter 2

Passion's Wounds Chapter 2  
Author's Note: Thank you all for all your reviews. They have persuaded me to continue writing this story that I, myself, did not think would be all that successful. Domo Arigato! ^-^. Sorry this took so long to update, but i have been very busy! Just for you concern, I have no quarrel with Asuka. For you die-hard fans out there that like to see Asuka as a horrible monster, gomen-ne... hehe. The Asuka in my version of the story will act as a sisterly figure to Shinji. *Not his secret admirer. *Not Rei's enemy although, that will be explained more as you read… ^-^   
  
Passion's Wounds Chapter 2  
Author's Note: Thank you all for all your reviews. They have persuaded me to continue writing this story that I, myself, did not think would be all that successful. Domo Arigato! ^-^. Just for you concern, I have no quarrel with Asuka. For you die-hard fans out there that like to see Asuka as a horrible monster, gomen-ne... hehe. The Asuka in my version of the story will act as a sisterly figure to Shinji. *Not his secret admirer. *Not Rei's enemy although, that will be explained more as you read… ^-^   
Shinji looked down at her. It was a magical sight. Rei gracefully slept in his arms. She was beautiful. Her lips slightly partly, and a vague smile was on her face. He smiled happily to himself, thinking of how lucky he was to have her here now. He continued to stare down. The glistening sun spilled down on Rei. Her face was covered with a cherry red blush. Her beautiful body, her gentle neck and shoulders. Shinji found no better ecstasy than this sight. He wrapped his arms tighter around Rei's waist; he leaned back to place his back against the tree. He never thought a girl like her would like him; it was utterly to his surprise even now, when Rei had been in his arms. But little did he know that Rei's love for him was inseparable, that degradation of her love was impossible.   
  
Rei opened her eyes slightly, noticing that Shinji was looking down at her. She smiled sweetly with the blush growing more brilliant on her face. Shinji returned that smile. Rei doesn't really smile much, but when she does, it was the most magical of sights. Shinji's heart was filled with warmth as he saw her smile; she was truly beautiful… he thought. Rei caught his smile in return. It enamored her to see it. Shinji's smile was what captivated Rei to him. His kindness, his sincerity, his gentleness all attracted her. Rei felt an outmost emotion of comfort and security around Shinji. So as she became closer, and as their relationship developed, that smile and that face (Shinji's) became more and more inseparable from her mind. For every second they were parted, Rei missed her love more and more. For every moment they were together, Rei cherished it as though it was her last moment alive. It came to the point where she was totally inseparable from Shinji, that the thought of one day not seeing his smile would   
cause Rei to have emotional breakdowns. Of course, that didn't happen, because there in front of her was Shinji's brilliant and loving smile.   
  
Rei slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurred, her chest heavy. She couldn't see much, for the room was dark. Her eyes didn't work that well either. She closed them again, and sighed heavily, trying to relieve herself of the pain in her chest. For a second, she had forgotten what had happened. It just seemed like one of those dreams she was always having. The dreams where she would picture Shinji smiling, the sight she sought to see for so long. Her heart ached when she thought of him like that. Then she remembered why she was lying down. Her chest pains began to come back. She didn't fight them this time. All she did was let it come; she welcomed it, it was better than having to live with holding it inside. She felt the tears stream down her cheeks. She begins to snivel and turned to her side.  
  
"You're awake…" a soft voice came from the darkness.  
  
Rei tried to hide her face underneath the sheets. The person revealed her face; it was Asuka. Her face was stern with concern, but yet soft with tenderness. Asuka looked at Rei, who was trying to hide her face. She was a terrible mess, her brightly lit crimson eyes as Asuka remembered them now had a gray tone hung in the amidst. Her hands trembled feverously, and she clenched her chest. This wasn't the Rei Asuka remembered. Rei was known to be cold and anti-social, but she had seen the happy days with which Rei was in Shinji's arms. That was three years ago though, and it seemed time didn't heal the wounds… passion's wounds. Rei still retained her physical beauty though. Asuka smiled slightly.  
  
"It's okay…" she said softly, trying to cheer her up. Asuka reached over and held Rei's trembling hand. No matter how much dislike Asuka had toward Rei, it never lasted long. She couldn't be upset with a person so desperately hurt from love, and she couldn't be upset with someone that could make a person like Shinji so happy. She had never seen a more passionate smile on Shinji than the times he was Rei. Asuka never understood why Shinji broke up with Rei. She did see one thing though: Rei truly cared for Shinji. She would never do anything to upset him, or even bother him, for the fact. Rei would never do anything that would hurt Shinji, anyways, and she seemed all the time to be there, protecting him from harm no matter what the situation or the sacrifice. Maybe Shinji didn't share those feelings. But no matter the case, Rei was left broken hearted.   
  
Rei clenched her chest tighter. She seemed to rummage through her pockets of her shirt under the sheets with other hand. Asuka looked on curiously. Rei, in pain, pulled out a small container of medicine. Asuka let go of Rei out of curiosity. However, as Rei's hands trembled and she gasped from her tears and pained chest, she opened the container of the medicine and spilled the pills. She cried even harder now as she saw her pitiful sight. Asuka looked upon her with grief and sadness. She quickly bent over and picked up all the small pills.  
  
"You need take this?"  
  
Rei nodded.  
  
"How many?"  
  
"Two," Rei said softly, her voice coarse.  
  
Asuka handed her two pills. Rei took it in her trembling hand and swallowed it. A few more seconds of gasping and clenching her hands, the heavy chest pain seemed to disappear. Now all that seemed to be left was a quiet and woeful sob that escaped from her mouth. Asuka looked upon Rei with great pain. She must be very sad… Asuka thought, and then berated herself… no shit! Look at her, she's a broken person… Asuka was going to get to the bottom of this. She couldn't stand Rei crying her heart out like this.   
  
"Rei… please stop…"  
  
"…"  
  
"Rei… if you won't tell me what's wrong…"  
  
"Why do you want to know?" Rei asked softly as her sobbing slowed down a bit.  
  
"Rei, I want to help. It's about Shinji, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes…"  
  
"What is it Rei? I can't stand a girl moping around like this, you know it won't do you any good!"  
  
Rei started crying again.  
  
"It doesn't do me any good the opposite way around! I've tried Asuka, for three years… I thought it would be different, that Shin-chan might have forgiven me. But it seems now that he never will…"  
  
"Rei, why are you so stuck to him? If he doesn't want you get over him! He doesn't deserve you!"  
  
"Asuka… you don't understand. I love him and it was my fault that Shin-chan suffers too. If he still hasn't forgiven me then he still suffers. I lied to him, Asuka. I kept my secret from him for too long. When I finally told him… he didn't want to see me again…"  
  
Silence…  
  
"Rei, don't cry like this, it's bad for your eyes…" Asuka said with a frown, as she helped wipe some of Rei's tears.  
  
"I just wish he could forgive me… I'm not an angel anymore… I've spent three years trying to find a way to suppress my angel powers, and even when I found a way… the person I love still doesn't share my feelings."  
  
"Shh… Rei, I'll talk to Shinji."  
  
"No don't do that, as much as I want him… I … I…"  
  
"Rei, what is that medicine?" Asuka said, trying to change the subject in hopes of making Rei forget about her problems and the fact that she got the message of not to talking to Shinji.  
  
"It's my S^2 organ restraint. It's the medicine I take to weaken my heart's condition and since my angel's S^2 organ is linked to my human heart, it weakens both while suppressing my powers… although… it leaves me very weak…" Rei said still sobbing.  
  
What has she done…? Asuka thought. She'd kill herself just to make Shinji care for her again. How sad…  
  
"Rei, go to sleep. You need the rest…"  
  
"Where am I?" Rei asked finally, just noticing that she was on a bed.  
  
"Shinji's room…"  
  
"What!?" Rei was shocked…  
  
"It's okay…"  
  
"But I'm soaking wet…" she sobbed further.   
  
"More the reason for you to be under sheets, now go to sleep… okay… you can talk to Shinji later…"  
  
"I don't want to, I'm afraid he might be even more upset."  
  
"Rei, don't give up, okay… now rest…"  
  
Rei calmed herself from her sobs and closed her eyes.   
  
She fell asleep and awoke to the sounds of a girl yelling.  
"BAKA!" Asuka was furious.  
  
"What?!" Shinji retaliated.  
  
"You idiot! Do you have any idea how much that girl cares about you!"  
  
"And what if I do!?"  
  
"You jackass!"  
  
"Stop yelling at me!"  
  
"I don't care! Rei has been crying her heart out for three years for you! Don't you feel any sense of sorrow or pity?"  
  
"Of course I do!"  
  
"Then why don't you forgive her?"  
  
"Because that wouldn't be right!"  
  
Rei painfully got out bed  
  
"Shinji! What you are doing to her is not right!"  
  
"Look! Rei betrayed my trust!"  
  
"I never knew you were so cold, Shinji!"  
  
"Well, now you know!"  
  
"You are a cruel person, Shinji!"  
  
"No, I'm not… I just don't think Rei has earned her forgiveness!"  
  
"What!?" Asuka was burning with rage. She raised a hand to hit Shinji.  
  
"That's enough…" A broken voice came through; it was Rei in the doorway. Shinji and Asuka were in shock. Shinji finally did have a good look at Rei. She still looked like the way she was three years ago, but her eyes changed. They are not as bright as before. They showed a sense of great anguish.   
  
"Asuka, I don't appreciate, as I said before, you talking to Shinji about me… please don't hit him…" Rei said, looking at Shinji and making him feel uncomfortable. Rei tried to keep a straight face, but when she couldn't hold it much longer, she decided to take her leave.   
  
Rei left… holding her tears as far as she could, slamming the door behind her. Both Asuka and Shinji were still in shock.  
  
Silence…  
  
"Do you see now?" Asuka said choking, holding her tears back. "Did you look at her eyes?" she looked Shinji.  
  
"Shinji, no one blames you for this, but Rei needs comfort… from no one else but you… and I think you're about 3 years overdue on the comfort…"  
  
Shinji slowly nodded… maybe… maybe… Rei deserves it now…he thought back to her eyes… Shinji felt his own tears stream down the sides of his face… Rei was hurt… and it was his fault. 


	3. Chapter 3

Passion's Wounds Chapter 3  
  
Author's Note: Domo Arigato! Thanks for all the reviews; I appreciate each and every one! Enjoy! (This is probably the chapter with the most thought put into it. That will explain the long time it took to write this chapter… gomen… Mind you, I spend about a day coming up with only about 3 to 4 pages for this chapter… it has very hard to write… so enjoy ^-^)  
Rei ran; she ran as fast her legs could carry her. The cold, hard rain hit her face. The heavy drops were like needles stinging her. The tears, along with the water from the rain, trailed from her cheeks and they ran off behind her. Her lungs were gasping for air; her head ached with pain, her fingers numb from the coldness, her hair wet, and her tears brought more and more pain to her already swollen eyes. But Rei didn't care; there was no point, no one to care if she lived anymore. She ran to her heart's content. The image of Shinji burned into her mind. Her love, the smile she longed for... Shinji… she thought… why am I damned to the fate of never seeing that smile again. Rei ran, she ran from Shinji. Rei longed to escape the pain, the anguish of the face Shinji bore. He still hated her! Hated her because Rei had kept the secret that she was an angel. Shinji never forgave her for betraying his trust, or playing with his heart. But Rei never summed up the courage to tell him sooner. She loved him. She didn'  
t want to be rejected, even knowing the person Shinji was, that Shinji would never fall in love with an Angel… he wouldn't fall in love with something that he had haunted him and tormented him all his life. Rei ran as hard as she could. The hard concrete floor hit against her shoes…  
"Watch it!" Rei ran past someone, nearly knocking him over. Then… Rei slipped, the water had made the ground slippery. She fell to the ground scrapping her knee. She sobbed more. The cold rain hit her back. She was soaking wet. The rain splattered heavily. She crouched there in the middle of the sidewalk. No one seemed to care. Everyone walked past her. Rei crouched there, wallowing in misery. Her heart was pounding, and she couldn't control her tears, which poured in an unstoppable flow from her eyes. She couldn't see much, her vision was blurred with her tears. Her heart ached, she felt so alone, alone like the time before she met Shinji. Before she fell in love with Shinji. I failed… she thought… finally calming down. I failed…  
Rei slowly got up, summoning what little strength she had left to walk with her bloody knee. She was soaking wet and cold, but she was no longer crying. What little hope she had of winning Shinji's love again had died. Now she was the Rei that the world knew before, cold and discrete. The pain in her eyes still stayed as well as the pain in her heart. The pain from Shinji's face, the memory of his smile, his gentle and kind smile. That smile provided no warmth for the soaked girl, though, as she trudged to her hotel.   
  
…  
  
…  
  
"Ms. Ayanami!" A voice called to Rei as she entered the hotel.  
  
"Ms. Ayanami!" Rei didn't reply, all she did was continue to walk to the elevator.  
  
The hotel clerk finally caught up to her.   
  
"Ms. Ayanami, there are messages for you…" Rei turned around, curious, but continued walking.  
  
"It says that you have left a item containing medicine at a Mr. Ikari residence…" Rei nodded and waved the man away as she continued walking.   
  
"That's not all; there is International NERV Security Council meeting tomorrow. Your assistant has asked me to remind you, tomorrow, at Tokyo-3 square…" Rei nodded again as she continued to walk.   
  
"Ms. Ayanami, you're bleeding! Do you need help?" The clerk asked, finally noticing Rei's limp. Rei shook her head, and the elevator door opened. She went in, leaving the clerk behind. The elevator door closed. The ride up seemed to take forever. She arrived at the top floor to her suite. She opened the door, closed it behind her, secluded herself into a locked bedroom, and fell to the bed. Rei closed her eyes; she didn't want to think, and she didn't want anyone to disturb her. Her body shivered from the wet clothes she wore, but she didn't care. Her heart still ached, but her eyes had gone dry. Rei just lay there… soon pain from the wound on her knee would subside, then she would sleep…  
  
  
They ran up and down the streets, their gleeful, happy spirits visible on their faces. Rei smiled to the bright sun as Shinji ran with her. The shops flew by. The angels haven't attacked in almost a year now; of course, there were none left. The world was becoming once more a peaceful place. Misato took the place of Shinji's father. Obviously, their characters were exceedingly different as the Supreme Commander of NERV, but Misato still kept up the strict synch training. It is always nice to see a smile on the commander's face… comparing Misato to Gendo. But she didn't care much for the Evas anymore. Neither did Shinji. No doubt they were bound to be pilots for the rest of their lives, but Rei had Shinji now. Someone to care for; someone to love. She smiled happily to the azure sky, to the glistening sun, to the ivory clouds. Her heart was felled with joy. Days like this were always so. Shinji laughed too as they ran up the streets of Tokyo playing catch.   
  
As they ran, they approached the Tokyo-3 scenic viewpoint. It was midday, the sun high at noon. Rei looked back at Shinji and fell to the grass below her. Shinji thought that Rei had tripped, so he quickly ran up to her.   
  
Rei grasped Shinji's arms and pulled him to the floor. They lay there both looking at the sky.   
  
"Look at the clouds…" Rei said, sounding childish.  
  
Shinji smiled, he wasn't looking at the clouds; he was looking at Rei.  
  
The peaceful scenery painted the majestic sky. The song of birds blossomed through the air. The wind carried boats of cherry petals from near by sakura trees.   
  
"You're beautiful when you smile like that." Shinji said romantically.  
  
Rei smiled.  
  
"Aren't I always beautiful?" she said, turning to her side.  
  
Shinji blushed… Rei giggled as she teased Shinji some more. Shinji moved closer. He touched his forehead with Rei's. He could smell her scent, Rei's own unique, elusive scent. It was intoxicating and entrancing. Shinji smoothed out Rei's hair, as she smiled at him passionately. He then slowly moved his lips toward hers. She too sensed his kiss and did the same. The two lips met. Rei's heart skipped a beat when they touched. She closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around Shinji. Shinji kept his at her waist.   
  
…  
  
…  
  
They held their kiss for what seemed like an eternity. Then finally came the moment of parting. Both were blushing. Rei still had her eyes closed, lips slightly parted. Her eyes opened, her mouth curved to a girly smile, and blushed heavily. Her heart was beating like thunder, every so often skipping a beat. Shinji too was blushing, but his expression also bore that amusement at the sight of Rei's face. Shinji looked at Rei… Her watery lips thin but beautiful. Rei's hair was neatly combed despite its length, her thin and entrancing neck was soft and smooth; Shinji loved Rei's neck, such a simple shape, yet such beauty magnified from it. Her slender body was coated by her uniform…  
  
"I love you…" Rei said softly…   
  
Shinji returned a passionate smile…   
She was crying again. Why couldn't she stop thinking about Shinji? Rei thought. Her sleep went well, but in a moment's time the phone rang.   
  
"Hello?" she said sheepishly, picking up the phone.  
  
"Is this Ms. Ayanami?"  
  
"Yes…"  
  
"This is the hotel lobby floor desk; there is a call here for you from Mr. Ikari. Would you like me to connect you?"  
  
Rei was in shock for a moment.   
  
…  
  
…  
  
"Ms. Ayanami?"  
  
"No, I won't accept that call." Rei hastily hung up the phone. She didn't want to talk to Shinji; she didn't want to think about Shinji. No matter how much she loved him, no matter her vows to protect him so as long as breath drew from her lungs, she couldn't talk to him now… She would break up again. She didn't want to have Shinji see her cry, much less listen to it.   
  
Rei lay there thinking for a moment. Tomorrow's meeting with the NERV international security council, then… maybe she could ask Maya for a chance to get into an plug suit again. Supposing Maya was still there… she thought. She knew Maya had been promoted earlier this month. She wanted to get into an plug suit again. Rei was nostalgic. She closed her eyes sleep filled her mind again. Sleep…   
Rei awoke finding something touching her knee. She opened her eyes.  
  
"Rei… you're awake…" It was Shinji!  
  
"Shinji!" Rei was shocked…  
  
"Hold on, don't move… let me finish bandaging this wound…" Shinji took his hand and gently wrapped the soft cloth around Rei's thin and smooth leg. It was beautiful. Rei was blushing… she obviously had just woken up and was hoping that this was not a dream.  
  
"There…" Shinji finished as he placed a waterproof tape around the bandaging. Rei didn't know how to react. She sat there in her bed.  
  
"I've been trying to reach you all day," Shinji said solemnly. "You left your medicine in my room, and along my floor too…" Shinji looked into Rei's eyes. From the look, maybe Shinji shouldn't have come. Rei looked like she was about cry.   
  
"Rei… Rei…"  
  
"Shinji… in three years… I'd never thought you would come into my hotel room to see me…"  
  
"Rei, the real reason I came wasn't to give back your medicine… I want to apologize…"  
  
Rei was shocked… She was considering pinching herself to see if this was a dream. Rei's heart sang, her hopes rose from the ashes… Shinji was apologizing… does that mean he's forgiven her?  
  
"Don't apologize, Shinji. You never have to apologize to me." Shinji looked into her eyes.   
  
"No, Rei… I've done something I will regret for the rest of my life… I've abandoned the one person I truly loved for three years. Even when she came back to me, I rejected her again. I've put her through so much pain… I don't know… what to ask for, forgiveness or my leave…"  
  
Shinji was in tears. Rei looked at him…  
  
"It was my fault, Shinji, you needn't blame yourself. I was the one who lied, remember?"  
  
Shinji shook his head and took Rei's hand.   
  
"This isn't a dream, is it?" Rei finally asked… feeling a lot of pain leave her heart.  
  
Shinji smiled with Rei's innocence… The smile! He smiled, for three years Rei had missed that smile so dearly. Finally, she saw it. Even though it was nighttime, the room lit up.   
  
"No… even if it were a dream, Rei, I want this to mean everything to you… I am in debt to you."  
  
Rei blushed heavily, her heart truly sang.   
  
"Let's start over." Shinji said. Rei raised a soft curve on her lips.   
  
"Shinji, you don't know what this feels like…" There was a pause. "Before we go any further… Shinji… there are a lot of things I have to say, Shinji."  
  
"Me too…" Rei lay back and Shinji sat at her side.   
  
"I don't want to hold anything back Shinji, this time… I'll keep no secrets from you… so…" Rei paused her smile disappeared. "I… I… I…" Rei took a deep breath, "I am the cause of all of your problems." There she said it, she waited three years to apologize and there.   
  
"What do you mean?" Shinji was confused.  
  
"Your childhood, your mother, your father, the third impact, the angels, and you piloting… Shinji… I am responsible for everything wrong in your life…" Rei said sadly… "It is ironic that I love you, Shinji… but have to beg your forgiveness…"  
  
"Okay, that's enough of that…" Shinji said. "There is no need to forgive anymore, Rei; It's all in the past, I don't blame you for any of the things that happened, and you shouldn't either. Just because I've a depressing life does not mean you have to blame yourself for it." Rei lightened up. Shinji had truly forgiven her… she thought. Not just for lying, but for the fact that she was an angel.   
  
"Rei, it's really a pity that it took me three years to figure it out, but I know now that no matter what the case, you are a very special person. Who you were when we first meat was not determined by yourself, Rei. You being an angel is not your fault. I see now that the times you've looked me passionately into my eyes, you saw love, and I didn't return it. I couldn't bear to believe that I had fallen in love with a monster, and I was wrong; you are not an angel, Rei. You are anything but an angel. I don't care if it's in your blood, you will always be Rei to me. From now on you are Rei Ayanami, my love…" Rei smiled sweetly. Three years it has been since Shinji had said something romantic to Rei. It took him three to finally realize Rei's love… Rei smiled, she wanted the world to know… She had finally won Shinji's heart!  
  
Shinji smiled sweetly… "You know between these three years, I've dated many girls…" Rei hit Shinji slightly… with a stern face…   
  
"Don't tease me, Shinji!"  
  
Shinji chuckled… "Rei, I've dated many of them, but there was always an emptiness with them. I kept remembering you." Rei smiled, a heavenly look on her face. She sat up and hugged Shinji. I won't let go… she thought. She was holding the person that she loved in her arms. It was magical. She had longed for this moment. Shinji placed his arms around Rei. He placed his arms around Rei! Rei was in bliss. There was no better. It was like biting on the fruits of heaven. In 24 hours Rei had lost all hope of seeing Shinji return her love, and here they were now. True, it would probably take more time for the wounds to really heal, but they were starting over. A new beginning, a fresh sheet of paper… Rei laughed inside with glee.   
They lay there arm in arm…  
  
"The first time I saw you… Shinji… The first time I laid eyes on you. You held me in your arms…" Rei smiled looking at Shinji's chest as he stroked her soft hair.  
  
"You were injured then…"  
  
"Yes, but that moment when you first touched me… Shinji… I felt safe, I felt comforted from the pain… I wasn't alone… I knew then I loved you…"  
  
Shinji smiled sweetly, though this pained his heart. Shinji had failed to return Rei's love for 3 years, and even when they were dating, he had thought it was just an infatuation. But Rei truly loved him… He felt a tear to come down.  
  
"Don't cry, Shinji…"  
  
"I'm sorry, but I feel so pathetic…" Rei frowned.  
  
"Don't, Shinji…"  
  
"Gomen…" Rei hugged Shinji tighter. Slowly the two drifted to sleep. There would be no meeting tomorrow. Rei smiled inside. Tomorrow, she'll be with Shinji and everyday from now on… she thought as she slept in Shinji's arms. Arm in arm, the two lovers slept in sweet caress. The color slowly returned to Rei's eyes, the wounds began to heal, the passion was renewed…  
(Author's Note: Not even close to the end… hehe ^-^) 


	4. Chapter 4

AUthor's Note: Thanks for all the reviews! I've really enjoyed writing this fic. Gomen-ne this chapter took so long to write, i've been busyh with school work.... ppoohh...  
Passion's Wounds Chapter 4  
  
The pain of anguish was washed away from her heart. Her eyes closed with a serene smile on her face. Rei slept next to her lover. The sweet tenderness of his cuddled body next to her chest was pure ecstasy. Her mouth slightly open, with an expression that could only be called peaceful. Shinji looked at Rei, thinking of how magical this moment was. The rain still poured outside of her room. The grand window set behind Rei's caress faced. The droplets hit heavily against the glass. The room was cold, and that was probably the only reason that Rei hung on so tightly to Shinji. Or was it the fact that she had just regained all sense of hope for her love? Shinji looked down on Rei and smiled. It was sad how much the girl had suffered for him. He had felt a extreme amount of guilt when he first saw her face as it appeared in front of his door. The eyes he saw, the faded and worn red seemed so depressing. Shinji had practically forgotten why he had so bitterly rejected her. Not merely was there the fact that Rei had   
kept secret something that should have been told to him, but he found her... fearful... he had almost been frightened, afraid that he had fallen in love with a demon. Now, though, as he looked down and saw the angel sleeping next to him, he could feel nothing but happiness, the happiness that he felt when Rei had not yet told him about her attributes. He wanted to look at his girl some more... it was comforting to know that someone would care for you no matter the cost. He felt reassured, and undeserving, but he would have it no other way. Now that their relationship had restarted, the bond was stronger than before, and Shinji's sense of being there for Rei was renewed. His eyes grew weary, and then his eyelids shut close.  
  
  
  
"I'll be back soon, Shinji... I have to move things over, and leave my position at NERV Britain."  
  
"You don't have to quit your job for me, Rei," Shinji said, feeling guilty.  
  
"I'm not quitting, Shinji," Rei smiled sweetly. "I'm going to ask for a transfer."  
  
  
Shinji knew that Rei could get almost any position she wanted within NERV, even replace Misato as the commander. Since Shinji's father had gone away, Misato was appointed as the supreme commander. Although she wasn't the most desirable leader, she was the most qualified. With Rei's history as an Eva pilot, connections with Misato, and her credentials as an outstanding leading officer of NERV Britain, a simple resignation and transfer could easily arranged.   
  
"Plus, I'll be right here with you!" Rei kissed Shinji on the cheek and two blushed. Shinai's heart sang.  
  
"I'll be gone a week at the most..." Rei reassured Shinji.  
  
Shinji still had a worried face, hoping that Rei would not have to leave. He didn't want to risk losing Rei again. But then there was the fact that if she went now, a week later, they would be together forever.  
  
"Be careful... I don't..." Rei stopped Shinji by placing her finger on his lips. She then arched forward and kissed him deeply.   
  
"One week... Tokyo Central Park... First bench in on the East Entrance...8:00 pm... Bring your cello..." Rei smiled and with that she got into a NERV car and the door closed behind her.   
  
It was nearing lunch time, Shinji felt a slight twitch in his stomach. Yes, I guess I should grab a bite to eat... he thought to himself as he examined the paperwork in front of him. It was going to take a while, he thought. The papers piled upwards, seeming endless. When in the world did he get stuck with a desk job for Misato? He knew the woman always ran late on her paperwork, but he just had to be a nice guy and help her finish the job. He took his leave. Swinging out of his chair, he headed down to the cafeteria. After taking a glance at his watch, he calculated about one hour for his lunch and then hurried down to the join the rest of the NERV officials in Tokyo-3.   
  
"Mr. Ikari?" A girly voice rang in Shinji's ears. He turned around to meet a pretty looking girl.  
  
"Hi..." He said in a friendly tone of voice as he grabbed his sandwich and placed it in his plate.  
  
"Hi," The girl blushed. "My name is Fumiko. I don't believe we have met..."  
  
"No, I don't think so, either." Shinji wasn't paying much attention to Fumiko, but rather looking for a space where he could sit down and have his lunch.  
  
"Yes, well I'm new here and I was wondering if you could show me around. I mean it took me about 2 hours to find the cafeteria."  
  
"Yes, the Geofront can be pretty confusing sometimes." Shinji smiled. "Do you mind if I sit down and eat first?" Shinji asked, obviously offering his help.  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Ikari!"  
  
"Oh, don't call me that, Shinji will be fine."  
  
"Okay, Shinji..."The girl smiled sweetly.   
  
Shinji found a spot in the vast cafeteria. The mess hall was jammed with NERV personnel.  
  
"Tell me... Fumiko... Do did you manage to find me in this mess? In fact, how do you even know what I look like?" Shinji asked curious as he began eating.  
  
"Oh, I'm here working under Ms. Langley, but she was busy today so I was told to find you."  
  
"I see..." Shinji said still unsure that the desperately attractive girl was telling the truth.  
  
Uncomfortably, Shinji finished his lunch. All Fumiko did was stare at him. It was obvious she was interested, but Shinji didn't like it when people stared at him. Well, at least not in the way Fumiko was. Fumiko kept blushing when Shinji realized he was being stared at. She kept quiet, but always had a tentative smile. To a point, this amount of attention actually made Shinji sweat. Not that he didn't like attention from cute girls, but the fact was that it looked like Fumiko was trying to seduce him. He shook off the thought.   
  
  
The moist spring air was around him. The night was cool, the stars lit the sky. Even with the city lights, the moon and stars shone as clear as crystals. The green grass around the bench was bent and freshly cut. The tree behind him rustled as the wind blew by. The sakura petals flew with the wind. Tokyo-3 Central park seemed magical. The blossoms covered the floor; pink and emerald were the shades of the surroundings. Shinji tugged closely to his jacket as another breeze blew by, it was a cool night. He looked at his watch... 7:50... he thought methodically. 10 more minutes and Rei would be here. His cello was next to him. He closed his eyes trying to ignore his nervousness. Fumiko didn't turn out to be all that he thought. She turned out to be a very nice person. Or it was what is seemed when Shinji showed her around the NERV grounds. She seemed to be a caring person like Misato, just less of a hopeless character. Fumiko was too very pretty.   
  
"Shinji?" A voice came from behind.  
  
"Rei!" Shinji opened his eyes, and jumped up seeing as Rei had finally come.  
  
There was a soft giggle.   
  
"Not quite..." It was Fumiko.  
  
"It nice to see you, Shinji." She blushed.  
  
Shinji was disappointed and surprised. He blushed as he recalled that he called her Rei.  
  
"It's nice to see you too... what are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, I was out of walk. I don't live too far from here." Fumiko lied, though she hid it well.  
  
"Really," Shinji said with a smile.  
  
"Are you waiting for someone?"  
  
"Yeah... I'm waiting Rei..."  
  
"Ah..." Fumiko seemed disappointed. "Wow! You play the cello..."  
  
"Yes." Fumiko quickly sat down next to him.   
  
"Can I see it?" Fumiko asked gently.  
  
"Sure, I guess..." Shinji handed her his cello.  
  
Fumiko kept her eyes on the cello in her arms. It was interesting to learn that Shinji had musical talent. She liked him more and more. He seemed so innocent and caring.   
  
Shinji however kept his eyes on Fumiko. She was truly pretty. Her thin white neck shone wondrously out of her red sweater, her slender legs seemed to make her khaki shirt. Her wavy, long, black hair caressed over her perfect face. Fumiko reminded Shinji of the first time he saw Rei. The two women had comparative beauty. It was almost enchanting.   
  
Fumiko looked up and blushed as she noticed Shinji was staring at her. She move closer and closer, but Shinji seemed to be in a trance. The two sat there facing each other blushing. Fumiko arched her face forward...  
  
Rei ran as fast as she could. Her legs were tired from moving all her stuff into her new apartment. But she ran just so that she would not be late for her date with Shinji. It would be their first date after they got back together. The smile was bright on her face. She ran toward the East Entrance. As Rei approached the entrance she stopped her running, adjusted her breathing, made sure her violin was in her hand and quickly walked over to where the bench was supposed to be. I hope I'm not late... she thought, as her cheeks were bursting red from the run. She looked down. She had forgotten how pretty Tokyo was in the spring. The sakura blossoms scatter all over the floor as the breezes continue to blow. It would be a magical evening... Rei looked up... She stopped dead in her tracks. The smile suddenly disappeared.  
  
Before Rei, Shinji and another girl were kissing. Her body and mind were numb with shock and disbelief. She dropped her violin. The sound of it hitting the floor made Shinji and Fumiko look at Rei. There was horror written across Shinji's face as he saw Rei looking at him, stunned. Rei and Shinji looked at each other in silence. Rei's cool composure slowly faded away, as the tears began to drip from the corners of her eye. Her throat began to run dry. Her vision blurred. Her chest pains revived. Shinji still sat there in shock and Fumiko looked confused. Rei sniveled once and knew that she would not be able to hold the tears back any longer. She ran away. Shinji finally snapped out of it and chased after her. He was stopped briefly by Fumiko.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"That was Rei..." Shinji said sadly.  
  
He ran after her as hard as he could.  
  
Rei ran like there was not behind. She was fast. But Shinji's desperate sprinting caught up. He grabbed her arms and held her there.   
  
"Let go, Shinji..." Rei said. As the tears dripped down her face, she looked away from Shinji.  
  
"Rei, let me explain..."  
  
"Let go..." Shinji didn't let go, he was afraid she would run away.   
  
"Let go, Shinji!" Rei's voice cracked, her heart was in pain, the tears streamed down.   
  
"Let me explain..." Rei turned around and faced Shinji. Her face was gloomy. Her lips parted slightly, her breathing heavy, and her tears poured down.  
  
"Let me explain..." Shinji repeated, feeling stabs of guilt upon looking at Rei's face.  
  
"You don't need to explain, Shinji... I understand..."  
  
"No, you don't..."  
  
"Shinji, you never loved me, don't deny it... you never loved me. No matter how much I love you Shinji, no matter how much I care for you Shinji. I know now you will never return it."  
  
"That's not true, Rei!" Shinji argued.  
  
"You didn't have to lie to me before to make me feel better..." Rei said her voice soft.  
  
"I didn't lie to you, Rei..."  
  
"It's enough that you have to reject me, Shinji, it's enough to tell me that you don't like me because I'm an angel! You don't have to insult me and break my heart again!" The tears were uncontrollable now.  
  
"Rei, listen, that's not right!"  
  
"Shinji, I'm sorry I lied to you, or kept the fact that I was an angel a secret... okay... I'm sorry..." Rei chest tighten. "This is the best apology I can give, Shinji. I'm sorry... I don't know what more to do or say..." Rei turned and ran hard.   
  
Shinji did not chase after her. He dropped to his knees and felt the tears come from the corners of his eyes. 


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Again thanks for the reviews. Thanks to Jessica my dear friend whom has helped continue this story. Of course, to Yumi, the real writers...   
Enjoy ^^  
  
Passion's Wounds Chapter 5  
  
Rei closed the door behind her. She gasped between her breaths, unable to breathe properly. She choked on her dry throat. The tears could not be remedied but her constant drabs with her sleeve. Her eyes swelled. Her chest tighten. The pain didn't seem to go away. She could hear footsteps coming from behind the door. Someone was running after her, no doubt Shinji. She tried to move to her room after locking the door behind, but found that her legs had already grown weak from the pain of her heart. Rei fell to the floor, huddled into a ball, and wept in silence, hoping not to hear Shinji's voice.   
  
There were heavy bangs on Rei's door.  
  
"Rei! Please don't do this! Let me explain!" Shinji cried into the door. It was locked. He felt horrible. Even if Rei would let him explain, as he saw no reason why she would, he didn't know how to explain the scene of Fumiko and himself. Why did he even do it? he questioned himself, feeling painful stabs of guilt. Shinji tried to withhold his tears. If Rei had decided to open the door, he didn't want to cause her more pain with his look.  
  
"Rei, please! I'm begging you, open the door..." Shinji felt weak. There wasn't much more he could ask for.  
  
"Rei, you are my one and only, don't lock me out here like this, please..." Shinji pleaded. Silence. There was no answer. He collapsed to the floor next to the door. Shinji sat there, hugging his knees. He could hear the soft whimpers and crying on the opposite side. Little did he know that Rei was just a few inches away from him. The door, however, proved to be an impassable barrier.  
  
The crying stopped after a while. Rei had no more tears left. The wound in her heart was beginning to fade. There was nothing to live for anymore. Rei was reminded of the way she felt before she had met Shinji, before she had decided to explore her heart. The cold and isolated Rei, who was distant and solitary. Rei couldn't feel her palms anymore, nor most of her body. Her pain faded. It seemed as though she forgot about Shinji. There were no more tears to shed, because there was no more heart to care. She lay there, eyes wide open. The two crimson bubbles seem to glow ever brightly in the room. The numbness in her heart petrified her being.  
  
"Rei..." Shinji's voice came through from the other side.  
  
"I didn't mean for what I did..." Rei got up systematically. She didn't think.  
  
"Rei, I didn't mean to do what I did, I know it was wrong, I don't know how to explain what I did, but I know I don't deserve your forgiveness." Rei placed her fingers on the handle of the door.  
  
"I want you to know though, I didn't lie to you when I told you I loved you. I waited for a whole week for your reply. I had no intention of kissing... of kissing Fumiko..." The door opened. Shinji leapt to his feet in awe. He was in bliss. He jumped and hugged Rei.  
  
"I'm sorry... I'm begging for your forgiveness." Shinji looked at Rei with a passionate flare. But what he saw did not ease his tethered heart.  
  
"Don't touch me, Ikari..." Rei said with a monotone voice. There was no emotion in her speech. Shinji had been used to Rei with at least a little emotion. But now, she reminded him of the first time they had met.  
  
"Rei... I'm... sorry... I... I..."  
  
There was silence. Shinji released Rei. The two just stared at each other for a few minutes. Shinji felt the stabs of guilt reviving even stronger than before. There was a sudden itch on his chest. Rei's expression bore emptiness. Shinji recounted his actions. Not only had he denied Rei once, and told her off again, but he promised his love to her later, and then break his promise, ultimately shattering the girl's heart forever. Rei had suffered a great deal of pain because of Shinji during her three years in England. But now she suffered even more because of him. Shinji couldn't even forgive himself for the first time. Rei now seemed to be scarred forever. Shinji couldn't take it anymore.   
  
"Go away, Ikari..." Rei's voice was monotone. Shinji's grim expression agreed with Rei. He turned looked at Rei one more time, and then walked away... in pain. Rei turned around and looked at her empty room. She staggered to her room from the weakness in her legs and laid down on her new bed. She closed her eyes and the emptiness disappeared. Shinji's comforting and innocent smile appeared...  
  
  
The smell of the cool night air filled his lungs. The misty darkness covered his face as he looked up to the starry night sky, the infinite black abyss of wonder. There was guilt in his heart, there was pain on his chest. Shinji looked up at the sky. Standing in the street, he looked up...What a screwed up life... he thought secretly as he laughed at himself. Why bother with living? After what happened with Rei, he thought that there would be no point in living. He felt stabs of guilt as he remembered Rei's face when she opened the door. Her eyes were so dim. There stood the mirror of her soul, yet in her case it didn't reflect. There was no one home. Shinji felt the bitter coldness of the first time he saw Rei.  
  
She lay there in his arms, gasping in pain from the injuries. He looked down on the poor girl. How could my father do such a thing? he asked himself. He saw Rei's blood, the haunting crimson blood. The blood would haunt him for the rest of his life. To watch such an enchanting person bleed. To watch someone as beautiful as Rei suffer for him... Shinji decided he would not run away this time... for Rei's sake.  
  
He chuckled at himself... I am a fool. He opened his eyes and saw the stars. There was no particular pattern tonight. The odd night was not finished. He ruined Rei's life, kissed Fumiko, and eventually recognized that he would not be able to forgive himself for his sins. All the things Rei had done for him. All the love she gave him. The unwavering heart she had for three years against his own denial. Finally confessing her truth. Showing Shinji a side of himself he never knew, and teaching Shinji that everyone deserves a second chance. All that from one girl, but in a second's time, that girl's heart was completely torn. From one second's time, a lifetime of recognizing herself lost... Rei had returned to the cold, isolated Rei she was before. Shinji would never forgive himself.  
  
A bright light came from the his side. The sound of a horn rang in Shinji's ears. Too immersed in guilt, Shinji didn't hear. He looked up to the sky, the eternal and endless sky. The dark abyss reminded him of Rei's heart, now a hollow dark abyss as well. A tear streamed down his cheeks. He closed his eyes. The car came at Shinji and didn't stop. Blank...  
  
Rei lay there with her eyes closed. Her chest no longer ached. Her head no longer spun. Her hearing didn't fade. There was no pain in her heart. Rei felt dead. There was numbness all over her body. She didn't feel anything in her heart; it felt empty. She didn't know how long she could keep reminding herself of Shinji. She felt as though in any moment she would forget that he existed. There was no happiness left in Rei's life. There was no purpose left to her existence. She became the doll that she was. This time, there was no duty to serve. Shinji didn't want her anymore. It should've been so clear to her. Why would he still want her after 3 years apart?. The other girl probably deserves Shinji more than her anyways. No matter what, what she did to Shinji must have been totally unforgivable. She never forgave herself. There was no subjugate to say that Shinji would do so.   
  
Rei opened her eyes. She felt hungry. She had to go out and get something to eat. She hadn't eaten for almost the whole day now. There was no reason to eat though. She might as well sleep away her hunger. She closed her eyes and welcomed death...   
  
Suddenly there was a frantic knock on her door. Rei's eyes jolted open. It must be Shinji again, she thought, expecting nothing from him. She ignored the knocking. The door of Rei's apartment and the bell tolled for minutes, seemingly endless. Then there was a voice. A girl's voice.  
  
"Rei! Open up, please!" The voice of Asuka came through. Rei crawled out of bed, still in the clothes of the night before, the same sweater and the same skirt. She went to the door, still half asleep, and opened it to see an out of breath Asuka.  
  
"What do you want, Sohryu?"  
  
  
Asuka wore a grim expression. Her eyes became teary. She quickly grabbed Rei and  
  
began to cry.   
  
"What's wrong?" Rei asked curiously, in a monotone voice.  
  
"I'm sorry, Rei..." Asuka said, hardly able to control herself. There was a silence. Rei was not used to seeing the Second Child like this.  
  
"What are you talking about, Sohryu?"  
  
"Shinji... Shinji's been hit by... by a car..." Asuka said, her eyes teary as she let go of Rei.  
  
Rei stared blankly for a moment. A sudden rush of guilt then overcame her. Her emotions rushed back into her body. Her facial expression changed.   
  
"What to you mean, hit by a car...?" Rei said, still in denial.  
  
"He was ran over..." Asuka said with great pain. She looked at Rei. Poor girl...   
  
Rei didn't know how to react. She didn't know what to think. There was first a sense of anger at the thought of Shinji. The sense was followed by sorrow, regret, denial, pain, and then finally guilt. Rei slammed the door shut. Asuka was left outside... reconsidering her actions... should she have told Rei? Yes, she deserved to know. She was going to find out one way or the other. Asuka felt bad. Shinji was like a little brother to her. But what could have caused this? She looked at the door. The driver said that the kid was just standing there in the streets.  
  
Rei rushed over to her new kitchen. She got out a cup and poured herself a cup of water. She took one gulp and the water was gone. Feverishly, she refilled the water and again drank it all. Her vision began to blur. Her throat grew dry, even with the water. She knelt to the floor and dropped the cup, shattering it on the floor. On her knees, she grabbed her chest. The pain was unbearable. Her vision blurred and slowly turn black. Rei fainted...  
  
  
  
Shinji awoke. He body was sore. He opened his eyes. The ceiling was white, the room silent. The light hum of the electrical lighting was audible. For a second he had forgotten what had happened. Then it all came back to him. Rei... the car... Fumiko... The stab of guilt came back to him and he began to cry. He wanted to bring his hand up to wipe his tears but something was blocking his hand. Shinji looked down... Rei...   
  
Shinji choked with guilt. Rei was sleeping silently next to him, resting her head on his hand. There was something different about her though. There were bandages covering her eyes. What happened? Again a stab of guilt pierced Shinji's heart. Here she was, Rei, the one person he loved, who stayed by his side no matter what he did. How he had treated her, how he had acted was beyond stupid. He didn't deserve Rei. But here, even with Rei unable to see and injured, she still looked beautiful.   
  
Shinji moved his hand, but Rei awakened...  
  
"Shinji?" Rei said as she sat up... Shinji tried to smile but noticed that Rei couldn't see.  
  
"Yes..." He voice cracked; it was dry.  
  
"Shinji, you finally woke up..." Rei said in amazement and relief. She sniveled a bit. She felt around with her hand. Her soft fingers touched Shinji's cheeks. Rei moved closer. Her fingers went past Shinji's blinking eyes. She was assured now that he was awake. Out of joy, she threw herself on Shinji. Another stab of guilt came to Shinji as he felt the soft cloth of Rei's eye covering rub again his cheek. Rei's sweet embrace was magical, but also full of sorrow. There was weakness in her touch. Her voice was full of sorrow too.  
  
"I'm sorry, Shinji..."  
  
"Don't be..."  
  
What happened? Shinji thought as he wondered on her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry Shinji, it's all my fault..."  
Note: Hehe sorry about all the cliffhangers its just too tempting hehe ^^. The reason that the revisions were made possible were due to the helpfulness of my dear friend Jessica. Thank you for your ever so wonderful proofreading skills and your determination to make this fic flow.  
Furthermore, i apologize, Rei is not an angel she is a neliphim... but that does not mean she doesn't pertain to have angel DNA. In other words my fic focuses on the fact that Rei has angel DNA in her and she didn't tell Shinji. DNA as the substane that makes you genetically, so if you have  
it even if you are not an 'angel' by definition is more effective to call her that (exaggeration)... sorry if i have mislead you. But for those picky readers out there... "use your imagination or think about it?? try it..." 


	6. Chapter 6

Passion's Wounds Chapter 6  
Author's Note: I feel so bad for doing this... I mean this story is really depressing. I reread it after all these wonderful reviews, gosh, I'm such a assjack for making Rei go through all that. Ha! Anyways thanks for all the reviews! Thanks to Jessica too, for being my numero uno proofreader. Okay, Okay, on with the story! ^^ Enjoy!  
  
  
Passion's Wounds Chapter 6  
  
Author's Note: I feel so bad for doing this... I mean this story is really depressing. I reread it after all these wonderful reviews, gosh, I'm such a assjack for making Rei go through all that. Ha! Anyways thanks for all the reviews! Thanks to Jessica too, for being my numero uno proofreader. Okay, Okay, on with the story! ^^ Enjoy!  
  
  
Rei's soft chin rubbed against Shinji's. There was the sense of both pain and happiness in her mind but also, undoubtedly, there was a sense of relief. The relief that Shinji was alright. She wouldn't have been able to live with herself if Shinji had died. No matter how much he had hurt her, no matter how much Shinji became her nightmare, Rei would never stop loving him. She would not stand the fact that he would die out of sorrow for what he did for her.   
  
"I love you, Shinji..." The words rolled off of Rei's tongue like she had practiced for countless hours; it was natural.  
  
Shinji stared blankly at Rei. He didn't know how to react. The shock came to him, that no matter what he did, Rei would always love him. A stab of guilt hit Shinji. To him, there was nothing more precious in the world than Rei. He had realized that when he vowed his love to her the night before. He could feel the soft braces of the cloth around her eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry..." Shinji didn't know what else to say.  
  
"Don't say that," Rei choked," It's my fault, I should've listened to you..." Rei sniveled, but Shinji couldn't see if she was crying or not. Shinji felt stabs of pain. It hurt to watch Rei in pain. It hurt so much to watch such a beautiful girl in agony and even worse to know you have caused it.   
  
"I don't want to be like this, Rei," Shinji said.   
  
Rei calmed down a little, "Can you forgive me?"  
  
"Rei... Can you forgive me? What I did was stupid."  
  
"Of course, I know you didn't mean it..." Rei lips curved a little to a iridescent smile.   
  
Shinji caressed her face. He hugged her slender waist. Rei stayed by him throughout the night. As the night air cooled the room, Rei crawled into Shinji's sheets. The warmth of the two bodies made the scene more magical. Shinji closed his eyes. He savored this moment so much. He then felt the soft clothing with his fingers. Another internal stab of pain.  
  
"What happened?" Shinji whispered to what seemed like almost asleep Rei.  
  
"What?" Rei whispered back. There was happiness in her voice, no longer holding the grim strain of despair. It chimed Shinji's heart but didn't take away his worries.  
  
"You eyes... what happened?"  
  
"The medicine I take for restraining my angel powers... an overdose... can either kill you or have temporal vision loss..." Rei whispered, hoping that this didn't hurt Shinji. But her fears were confirmed.  
  
"Temporal vision loss?"  
  
"Yes," Rei said softly. Her hands ran through Shinji's smooth hair, reassuring him that it would be alright.  
  
"I want you to stop taking those." Shinji said sternly.  
  
"Why? Don't you mind me being..."  
  
"No. I don't, Rei, I said it before..." Rei felt bad. She didn't think that what she did for Shinji would hurt him so. She didn't mind losing her vision in order to make Shinji a happier person. In the face of that, her vision was not any price to pay at all, although Rei didn't think it would hurt Shinji so much.   
  
"Do you have to wear the bandages?"  
  
"Yes, until my eyes heal..." She could feel her words effecting Shinji.   
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"I'm sorry..." Rei apologized, feeling guilt for Shinji's pain.  
  
"Don't be." Shinji hugged Rei tighter.  
  
"No, Shinji. I'm the reason you're here in this hospital right now, I'm the reason you were hit by a car, I'm the reason for the many problems in you life. It's not fair to you that I have to cause you more pain in a time where you need comfort."  
  
"You need comfort more than I do, Rei. I am the cause of all the pain in your life as well..."  
  
Rei giggled very softly. Shinji smiled. He didn't know Rei was capable of seeing the bright side of things like this; only one more reason to love her more.   
  
"The irony of our love..." she said softly and kissed Shinji deeply; it was magical.  
The morning sun was radiant. Rei opened her eyes for the first time in a week. She lay next to her love, Shinji. Their bodies were entangled with each other. Her nimble fingers took off the bandages. There was a sense of relief that flooded over her body. Her vision first began as a blur, then slowly it returned to normal. She saw Shinji... her heart jumped. She had gotten up and now kneeled next to him to remove her bandages. She smiled at the boy. Rei wore a shirt and undergarments, but as Shinji woke up with his love, there was sense of excitement when he looked at the devastatingly attractive girl who was wearing just a soft white shirt.   
  
"Rei, you're beautiful..." Shinji said softly as the morning sun's light shined through his apartment's window. Rei blushed a little.  
  
"Thank you, Shin-chan, but I'm not as cute as you are..." With that, Rei planted her lips on Shinji's.   
  
Shinji finally saw Rei's brilliant ruby eyes again. Bliss filled him at happiness of the sight.   
  
"I love you, Shinji."  
  
"I know, I love you too."  
  
Shinji continued the kiss, running his fingers through Rei's soft and gentle hair. Rei didn't complain; she held herself next to Shinji. The pair were lying down... Rei inched closer and closer to Shinji...   
  
Suddenly, the door bell rang. There was sigh of regret from both Rei and Shinji. They smiled sweetly at each other.   
  
"I love you." They said in unison. The door bell rang again.  
  
"Okay, I'm coming!" Shinji shouted irritated.   
  
He trudged over to the door and opened. It was Asuka, with a bright smile on her face.  
  
"Hey. Baka! You forgot all about the Spring Festival! We were supposed to go today!"  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Yeah... WHAT THE HELL!" Rei appeared next to Shinji in her near naked appearance.  
  
"HENTAI!"   
  
"No, no wait..." Shinji was desperate. Asuka looked away. Shinji opened the door further, but didn't notice that Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke were behind the door too; they all saw.   
  
Shinji blushed heavily and slammed the door shut.   
  
Rei looked with confusion from behind him.   
  
"Why are you blushing...?"  
  
Shinji laughed a little.  
  
"They think I'm a pervert..." he said sadly.  
  
"Why? I don't think you are." Shinji smiled at Rei's innocence.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Rei smiled.  
  
"There is a Spring Festival?"  
  
"Yes." Shinji sat down still blushing. "The Cherry Blossom Festival."  
  
Rei smiled.   
  
"It sounds romantic..." Rei teased.  
  
Shinji smiled.  
  
"I'll go with you!" Rei decided.  
  
Shinji retained his smile.   
  
Rei giggled and hugged Shinji.  
  
"When do we leave?"  
  
The soft cherry petals flew from the sky. The air was warm and soothing. Kensuke wandered around with his camera, photographing his surroundings. He aimed his lens at his friends. Asuka laughed out loud and playfully hit Shinji's left arm as Touji and Hikari giggled and laughed with her. Rei, on the other hand, hugged tightly to Shinji's other arm. Shinji bore a childish smile on his face, a smile of pure bliss. Rei was wearing a light cerulean kimono with little white rabbits painted on it. Shinji was in a traditional blue kimono set. Asuka wore a vibrant shade of crimson, while Touji had on a cream white color. Hikari was in a yellow kimono with red spots, and Kensuke had dressed himself in a black kimono. Happiness filled the air as the friends conversed to each other. Often times, Kensuke would try to film Rei and Shinji kissing, but the end result was Shinji holding his hand in front of the lens. Asuka and Hikari would tease Rei about what they last night. Touji and Kensuke did the same with Shinji. The group went to get some treats. The cherry blossoms rained, the crowds were in harmony, the noise was living, the spring air filled the day with a scent of happiness, and the bond between Rei and Shinji grew ever stronger.   
  
As they walked over to the stand holding some rice cakes, a girl with a lavishing green kimono appeared. Shinji recognized her... Fumiko.  
  
Shinji stopped, paralyzed.   
  
"Shinji?" Fumiko spotted him.  
  
Rei looked up in horror.  
  
"Fumiko..." Shinji said, a stab of guilt hitting him.  
  
"Shinji?" Rei questioned her lover.  
  
"It's a nice day, isn't it?" Fumiko smiled to Shinji and looked Rei. The two stared at each other for a second...  
  
"It was..." Shinji said solemnly.   
Footnote: AH HA! Another one! Tease* Tease* 


	7. Chapter 7

Passion's Wounds Chapter 7  
  
Author's Note: Wow! Over 50 reviews! Gosh, I never thought this fic would work out so well when I first started writing it. Thanks everyone, love ya lots! Of course another mention to my pre-reader, Jessica whose constant persistence of cherry versus cheery has kept my writing spirits alive and working through honors homework and tireless practices of sports. Still though, to the fans of Eva... ENJOY! Note: T.T. (You know who you are) here it is, okay...you too Addy! Bio Junkies!  
  
  
The cherry blossoms seemed to pour down as did the spirits of Rei. She didn't know how to react; the girl in front of her reminded her of herself. Not really though who she was before, but who she was now.   
  
"Mr. Ikari." Fumiko said walking over and bowing to Shinji.  
  
There was a deathly silence.  
  
"Ms. Ayanami." Fumiko walked over to Rei and bowed too. Although with a show of respect Rei bowed back, it was much to her regret. She hated the fact that she would respect the person who stole Shinji away. There was a tense silence as the two looked at each other. Both with forced smiles.   
  
Shinji's heart was racing. He wanted to say something, but he was afraid of angering on the two beauties. Asuka saved him though.  
  
"Hello, I don't think we've met..." Asuka's line seemed to be returned by Shinji with both graciousness and curiosity. Didn't the two of them know each other... Shinji thought thinking back to the time Fumiko told him that she was instructed to see Shinji by Asuka.  
  
"No Ms. Sohryu, we have not met before. My name is Fumiko." She greeted the girl with a smile and bowed too. "Mr. Ikari here has be kind enough to show me around NERV the other day... I had just transferred." Again the smile. Asuka smiled back, it was almost natural for her, although she had suspicions about the tenseness between Fumiko and Rei.  
  
"Nice to meet you Fumiko."  
  
"The pleasure is all mine," Fumiko replied.  
  
Rei stared into the eyes of Fumiko. She was both confused of what see saw and what it meant. Fumiko walked on avoiding Rei's eyes and Shinji's face. She waved goodbye and strolled on. Asuka stared at the girl and then at Shinji.  
  
"Who is she?" Asuka asked suspiciously as the others (Kensuke, Touji, and Hikari) kept quiet sensing the tenseness.   
  
Shinji sat on his couch looking down at the ground. He could nothing else. He contemplated in his mind of what to say to Rei. The stabs of guilt pierced his heart. Rei peered over from the hallway. She was cooking with Asuka. Finally teaching the Redhead how to cook. She felt as though she was responsible for Shinji's pain. She knew it wasn't her fault, but nonetheless, she felt responsible. As if she was Fumiko, she was one of the causes that he was in such conflict now. Ever since they talked with Fumiko, Shinji didn't speak a word.  
  
Asuka decided for all of them to go back to Shinji's apartment and there would be a party. "A Cherry Blossom Bash!" That's she had called it.  
  
Rei was hesitate to approach Shinji, but she found that Kensuke and Touji too far from the scene, the two of them playing cards in the covered second floor patio with the TV. Rei went into the living room with some ice cream one for her and the other for Shinji.  
  
"Shin-chan..." She said softly.  
  
There was no movement.  
  
"Shin-chan, do you want ice cream?"  
  
Again silence.  
  
Rei walked over and sat down next to Shinji. She looked at him with her eyes in pain.  
  
"Please Shinji, don't be like this, I don't want to see you like this..."  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Shinji!" Rei grabbed his shoulders.  
  
Again nothing.   
  
Rei was taken back by this. She looked down.  
  
"Well, if you want the ice cream here it is..." Rei tried to smile, again trying to cheer Shinji up, but Shinji still wasn't talking.  
  
Rei walked away hopeless. She wasn't really mad at Fumiko, but moreover she was disappointed in herself. She couldn't cheer Shinji up. In addition, her view, both Fumiko and herself were just as guilty for Shinji's depression.  
  
The party went on until around 2:00 in the morning. When finally Asuka left, she wished Rei luck with Shinji. With a bright smile the last guest left the house. Rei looked painfully back at Shinji from the doorway.  
  
She cleaned up and finally gathered up the courage to sit down next to Shinji again.  
  
"Shinji," She tried to smile but in vain, "it time to rest..."  
  
There was no reply. Rei looked away and sat next to him. She felt horrible.   
  
Shinji began to hear sobs coming from next to him, it hurt, he knew it was Rei.  
  
"Shinji, you don't have to reply, you don't have to say anything, but at least listen to me. I don't care who you choose. Fumiko or me. As long as you're happy, that's all I need to know everyday I wake up. I've learned this from our love. I know it will hurt me if you don't choose me, but it's nothing compared to you being happy." Rei tears trickled down her cheek. She stood up as Shinji didn't answer. Rei grabbed a coat and went out for walk. She needed a walk to calm herself down and clear her mind.   
  
Shinji found Rei in Tokyo Central Park all alone. It was very early in the morning. The sun hadn't even come up yet. She bore a grim expression on her face. She was asleep although her unconscious body shivered from the bitter coldness of the morning air. Shinji took off his jacket and wrapped it around Rei. This woke her up.  
  
"You didn't have to sleep in the park..." Shinji said with pain in his voice.  
  
All Rei could do is look up and smile at him. He finally said a word. Her heart sang. It seemed like an eternity since Shinji had said something. Rei wrapped her arms around Shinji's warm neck and embraced him with a kiss. Shinji pulled away though, he needed to say something.  
  
"Rei, you needn't worry, I will always choose you..."  
  
"Shh..." Rei silenced Shinji placing a finger over his mouth. She kissed him again missing his lips dearly.  
  
"No wait..." Shinji pulled again.  
  
Rei seemed worried and disappointed.  
  
"I have to say this Rei..." There was a moment of silence.  
  
"I am a stupid fool."  
  
"No you're not, Shinji."  
  
"Yes I am, Rei your love for me has blinded you from seeing who I really am. For three years I've tormented you, for the past week, I've broken your heart twice, and still I haven't formally apologized for what happened with Fumiko. I feel like an idiot, no guy would ever treat their girlfriend like this... you deserve much better than me Rei..." Rei eyes became moist.  
  
"Shinji, there are reason why I love you, for one its not pity. Shinji I love you because you are the only one who can comfort me. I am the only one who can truly say otherwise. I don't care how you treat me Shinji, I will always love you. If you think I deserve better, Shinji... your love for me has blinded you too then. I was the reason you joined NERV. I stole your father away from you. I am solely responsible for your hatred of the Angels." Rei looked down. "You deserve a better girl..."  
  
Shinji was stunned. He didn't expect an answer.   
  
"Rei..." Shinji looked at the sobbing girl. "Don't cry..."  
  
"I'm sorry about Fumiko."  
  
"You needn't be, it wasn't your fault." Rei said between the tears.   
  
"I can't to blame myself though, so I need your forgiveness..."  
  
"I forgive you Shinji." Rei said hastily.  
  
Shinji smiled acutely.  
  
"You are and always will be my one and only... I promise." Shinji said softly. Brushing back the stray strands of Rei's hair. She smiled a bit and dove forward to kiss him. This next she didn't let go until minutes later. Rei laid in Shinji's arm for a while as the two lay together on the bench. There was a moment of peaceful serenity.  
  
"Rei..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I want to show you something." Shinji got up and held Rei's hand.  
  
The morning sun sparkled through the clouds. The two lovers stood there. Rei in Shinji's arms.   
  
"This reminds me of the first time we kissed."  
  
"We were here the first time."  
  
"I know..." Rei whispered in Shinji's ears.  
  
Shinji nibbled at Rei's ears.   
  
"Its beautiful Shinji."  
  
"Not nearly as beautiful as you are." Rei blushed a little. She was a little more used to the teasing, but still there was no change of how hopelessly in love she was with Shinji's innocent flirting.  
  
"Don't tease me," Rei said giggling a bit.  
  
The radiant sun showed the outline of the tall skyscrapers of Tokyo-3. The shining iridescence of the morning fog grew around the two lovers. The sight of the sun renewed their strength and their love.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A.N. Gomen-ne this is taking so long for me to publish these chapters. That goes double for Kokoro e Kokoro which will not be updated for at least another day or two! My life! IT SUCKS! IT GETS IN THE WAY TOO MUCH!  
  
That's a bad excuse, but... i don't have another one, and it's honest too! Of course though, thank you for all the reviews! I will try to post more quickly (hopefully Spring Break will help...) 


	8. Chapter 8

Passion's Wounds Chapter 8  
  
Author's Note: This chapter is basically Fumiko. ^-^ hehe yes of course there is a little Rei and Shinji, but yeah this is 99.6 %( teeheehee/ maybe) Fumiko. ^-^ enjoy.  
  
  
The cool night air radiated outside. The dark room filled with soft sounds of sobbing. The gentle jolts of her quivering lips showed only the extent of her love. Fumiko grasps her throbbing chest. She missed him dearly...  
  
  
"Onii-san?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Where are you going?" The younger Fumiko asked.  
  
"I need to go."  
  
"Onii-san..." He never answered her question.  
  
"I'm sorry Fumiko. I can't say."  
  
"Be careful..." There was a small tear.  
  
"Don't cry myoto..."  
  
"You're always going away like this. You don't come home. You work all the time. I don't want to complain, I'm your little sister... I don't want to be a bother, but... I just wish you would relax once in while... spend some time with me..." Fumiko said between snivels. "You're the most important thing to me onii-san. After mom and dad passed away, you've taken care of me... I want to see you happy." Fumiko's every word took stabs of guilt to her brothers heart. He smiled gently.  
  
"I won't be long this time..."Her brother went to the door.  
  
"You be a good girl at home okay."  
  
Fumiko smiled back a little. "I'm always a good girl..." There was sadness in her voice. Her brother couldn't stand her so depressed. He went over and hugged her.  
  
"One of these days I'm going to quit NERV, okay?"  
  
Fumiko smiled returning the hug.  
  
"You don't have to, I know how important your work is... that's why I don't want you to go..."  
  
Her brother looked confused. But then he thought that Fumiko must have mixed feelings about what she just said too. He smiled and closed the door behind him. Fumiko waved at the closed door... her brother never returned.   
  
  
  
Fumiko grasped her pillow tightly. She brought her knees closer to her chin. Her pillow was the object between the two. The dim light of her apartment room lit a very cozy surrounding. The quiet abyss of the night was apparent outside of her window. Fumiko grabbed her pillow tightly on her bed. She was in her pajamas.   
  
Ever since her brother died almost four years ago, Fumiko never got a good nights' sleep. Nightmares and tormented dreams of her brother always kept her up. She could've tried harder... She thought... She could've tried harder to convince him to leave NERV earlier. She didn't cry that day she got the news of her brothers death. She went into shock... pretending for days that it was only a bad dream. Then when the realization finally came... She tried to kill herself. Her friends persuaded her not to. Listening to them only made it worse. She faced every coming day with the same horror of being in this world without her beloved brother.  
  
The oceans of tears she shed in his honor– countless.   
  
Then came the day she first saw Shinji Ikari. It was memories that persuaded her to join NERV. She wanted to live the life of her brother, for better or for worse she didn't care because of the depression. She applied for a minor position of technician in trainee under Maya. She really never saw the young Ikari until the time he appeared after a sync test with the second child. Her heart sang that day. Ikari reminded her so much of her brother. Not just the looks either, but his kindness and innocence.  
  
Everyday for the next two years, Fumiko couldn't wait to work. For the chance of seeing Shinji again. When she heard that he finally applied for a permanent at NERV under Commander Katsuragi's care, she was delighted. She told her friends that she was attracted to the boy. She said she would ask him when she summoned the courage. But then she learned of Ayanami. She was both disappointed and happy for Shinji. Secretly she vowed that day to keep Shinji safe from all harm, because he was the only thing left in this world that was the sweet memory of her brother. Shinji, on the other hand, never learned of the technician in training at NERV.   
  
Fumiko's warm tears dripped down her soft cheeks. She had awoken earlier with a nightmare that someone had killed Shinji and she didn't try to prevent it. She felt sick that in all reality that probably would have happened. She wanted to protect but with Rei around she knew that she had made the mistake to take Shinji's heart even if it were to comfort her own lonely soul. She felt guilty ever since she saw Rei's face. She knew this would cause Shinji pain because she could sense Shinji enormous love for this girl. Rei too deserved his love probably more than Fumiko. As she same across Rei's profile more than once while researching, Fumiko knew the girl's history.   
  
When she saw the horror that had stricken across Shinji's face when he saw Rei's heart crumble, she felt stabs of pain plug her heart. There was a brief period where her heart skipped a beat. There was then the problem with breathing. A choking sensation, then blurred vision. She had failed again. The overwhelming rush of hopelessness coursed through her blood. Her heart screamed in angst. She didn't want to live. It was bad enough that she broke a person's heart, she broke two. Beyond that she broke Shinji's heart, which to her, is the most precious one left in this world.  
  
  
The soft tears of agony danced their way down to the silky sheets of the bed. Then there was a soft knock on the door. Fumiko got up and answered and walked over to the door. Her movement entrancing, but with each step was the regret that she lived and her brother didn't.  
  
"Who is it?" Fumiko asked choking down the tears.  
  
"Me." A familiar voice came through. Fumiko opened the door and looked in trepidation.  
  
"Good evening," A young well dress man said.  
  
"What are you doing here, Janus?"  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
There was a deep silence.  
  
"You haven't forgotten you mission have you?"  
  
"No." The talking was at a whisper.  
  
"Okay, just checking..."  
  
"Janus, I don't think I can complete it though."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I don't think I am capable of completing the mission." The face on the young man grew stern and serious.  
  
"You will complete your mission is that understood?"  
  
"Yes..." Fumiko said reluctantly.   
  
"Good, and don't get attached to Ikari, it makes your life harder that way."  
  
"It was my only contact to the target." Fumiko lied.  
  
"Well, just make sure the First Child doesn't find you out before you complete your objectives, that goes double for Ms. Langley."  
  
"I understand, now please leave your visit here was pointless."  
  
"Not really." Janus smiled. "Here." He handed her a bottle of pills.  
  
"What are these?"  
  
"Anti-depressants. Judging by your first appearance you need these." With that Janus left. Fumiko closed that door. She was about to throw the pills in the trash when there was an another knock on the door. She went and answered it thinking it was Janus again. It wasn't, but that wasn't what was the most surprising part. It was Shinji.  
  
"What are you doing here so late at night?" She asked bewildered.   
  
"Fumiko... what happened the other night..."  
  
"I understand, I'm sorry it..."  
  
"It was my fault." Shinji said.  
  
"You shouldn't blame yourself... how is Rei?"  
  
"She's fine... I had to make up, but she's sleeping now."  
  
"How did you find my house?" Fumiko finally asked not realizing the situation before.  
  
"I ran a search for you before."  
  
"Oh..." There was a deathly pause.  
  
"You shouldn't lie Fumiko... I should've told me you've been with NERV for more than three years."  
  
"I'm sorry." She said relieved that Shinji didn't find out about her secret identity.   
  
"Its okay... but that kiss can't happen again." Fumiko blushed.  
  
"Just tell me one thing Shinji."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can we still be friends?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Fumiko smiled.  
  
"You have no idea how much that means to me."  
  
Shinji was confused.   
  
"You are too much like him..." Fumiko said in a grim nostalgia.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Shinji eyed the pills, her expression, and her tone of voice.  
  
"No..."  
  
"Fumiko. I not a psychological expert, I can see something is wrong. Unless you don't want to tell me, I want to help."  
  
"Thank you, but I really must keep this to myself."  
  
"Tell at least if it has to do with me?"  
  
"Yes... no directly, but yes..." Fumiko said looking down.  
  
Shinji look with a frown.   
  
"Please don't be sad."  
  
"I can't Shinji, the more I look at you, the more you remind me of him." Fumiko began to cry. It was just like Rei. Shinji felt horrible. He felt depressed now to have cause two girls so much pain, even though he didn't know what causing Fumiko's. Her pretty face was now drowned in sorrow.  
  
"Fumiko..."  
  
"Go..." She said sliding the door shut. "Go..."  
  
Fumiko closed the door. Shinji respected her wishes and walked slowly away. Fumiko made sure to listen for the footsteps of Shinji leaving before collapsing in tears.   
AN: okay maybe i should try a happy happy chapter next it is getting really depressin ^^. Thanks Jess for the corrections and i still say thin is better than slender. ^^ 


	9. Chapter 9

Passion's Wounds Chapter 9  
Author's Notes: This chapter was especially hard to write, because... well, I usually have to put a lot of tragedy and angst in my stories. But this is more a... candy chapter. I hope I don't get a toothache. If I do... well it was by demand by certain reader ^^. Enjoy anyways. If you are reading this for the non-cute and fluffiness, rest assured that the story will progress with a great deal of depressing situations; at least that's what I have planned.   
  
Rei looked adoringly at her love. Her jeweled eyes flared with passions. Her seductive smile had quite the effect on Shinji. He managed to do no more than a sheepish grin. How lucky I am... Shinji thought. Staring at the goddess made him forget all of his troubles, all of his worries. All he needed was Rei. The comfort from the loneliness of the world. Not that his friends didn't provide it, it's just that Rei was so much better. God, she's beautiful... Shinji though staring in her eyes. There a limitless wonder in them; Shinji never tired of Rei's eyes nor the rest of her body.   
  
Rei took Shinji's hand with both of hers and held it to her cheek. She caressed his hand on her cheek and rubbed it with feverous passion. Her eyes closed. Her smile became something more a expression of bliss. Shinji took his other and moved stray hair away from her forehead for it was tilted to his right hand. Rei opened her eyes from her daydream and looked at Shinji still holding his hand to her face. She smiled seductively.   
  
"This reminds me of the first time we kissed," Shinji whispered.   
  
The sun rose slowly as the day approached noon. The two lovers were at Shinji's apartment.   
  
"We weren't here though..." Rei purred.  
  
"True," Shinji smiled.   
  
Rei returned by moving closer to Shinji and resting her head on his chest. His khaki sweater was soft and comfortable. Shinji slid down a little on his couch to give Rei more of a comfortable position to rest. There was a soft and romantic silence. Shinji ran his fingers through Rei's hair slowly smelling the rich fragrance that was erotic. Rei closed her eyes and began her daydreaming some more.   
  
"What day will it be tomorrow?" She said with such innocence.  
  
"Monday," There was a hint of grief in Shinji's voice.  
  
"I will have to work tomorrow," Rei's eyes were still closed.  
  
"I too, but I'll see you at lunch and we'll go out for dinner okay?" Shinji wanted to be Rei.  
  
Rei nodded her eyes still closed, she seemed tired and Shinji decided to let her rest. She did spend last night in cold park waiting in misery for him.  
  
The silence returned. The cool spring air blew in from his porch.   
  
"Don't ever leave me..." Rei said choking.  
  
"Why would I think of leaving you, especially now?"  
  
"I know I sound greedy keeping you all to myself, but I don't trust Fumiko... I know I sound jealous, but I don't feel that you are safe Shinji... promise never to leave me."  
  
"I promise."  
  
"I won't let any harm come to you."  
  
"Likewise."  
  
"My life is meaningless without you Shinji."  
  
"Rei, don't say that."  
  
"I mean it! I can't think of a world without you!" Rei seemed to be crying.  
  
"You make me whole Rei, whatever you want, I'll give you... you hear? Anything. I've made too many mistakes already and I'm not about to make you suffer in misery."  
  
Rei nodded. She looked up at Shinji with a bittersweet expression, teary and smiling.  
  
"You're beautiful." Shinji cooed.   
  
"You too." Rei brought her lips up to kiss Shinji only to find Shinji doing it first.   
  
A romantic silence flew around the room as the two held each other in sweet caress. The embrace of the lips like heaven and earth.   
  
( Six Months Later)  
  
A snow flake drifted down. The first of the winter season. Rei held out her hand that was wrapped in a mitten. She looked up with a smile on her face. There was more flakes coming. Her scarf waved in one direction as the gentle wind blew up.  
  
"It's staring to snow..." Shinji said behind her as if something magical was happening.  
  
"I know, I haven't seen snow in so long! I've forgotten how cold it feels!" Rei said with excitement.   
  
Shinji smiled and laugh a little. Rei then slipped her arms around Shinji.   
  
  
"Thank you, I needed time away from work!"  
  
"Its December Rei! Of course you should get time off! I'd say you need more time off, I'll have to talk to Misato if you insist on working so hard!" Shinji said with warm smile.  
  
"Don't tease me. Just because I'm not as lazy as my boyfriend!" Rei teased back.   
  
The two giggled sweetly. They stood still in the crowded street and kissed one another. Some stared, others walked away no noticing, and others walked away noticing but hiding their jealousy.  
  
"Do you want to go skating?"  
  
"I don't know how Shinji." Rei said curious.  
  
"I don't either, com'on!" Shinji smiled. The two lovers walked to the nearby skating ring.   
  
They skated until the night lights turned on. It wasn't the fact that they had fun falling, but it was the fact they had fun falling and watching the other one laugh at the other. Both Rei and Shinji looked like total klutz when skating, obviously since it was their first time. But skating on ice was found by Shinji the most challenging 'fun' activity to do. Still he enjoyed every moment with Rei.  
  
As they sat there chatting about their mess-ups, they looked at each and at the stars above.   
  
"This is truly magical..." Shinji said with snow beginning to cover his head.  
  
Rei smiled back with infinite bliss.   
  
The two lovers stared at the stars a few moment longer.   
  
"Its getting cold isn't it?" Shinji asked.  
  
Rei nodded a little.  
  
"Okay..." Shinji led Rei to a near by coffee shop and bought her a cup of hot chocolate. Shinji then indulged himself with a regular coffee. The two sat in the coffee house comfortable side by side. The store clerk looked upon the two with envy and innocence in her eyes. It was sweet sight to see. Rei nibbling on Shinji's ear and drinking her hot chocolate, finally rest on Shinji's shoulder wrapping her arms around his arms. Shinji all the while stroking Rei's exquisite facial structures.   
  
They didn't notice, but nearby a girl sat watching them... it was Fumiko... 


End file.
